opportunistic
December dandelion --
the season is Now.
©Mary Lee Hahn, 2015
I keep saying I like process notes, so here are some for this haiku. I started with the photo. The middle line came to me first. Then, I thought about the strangeness of this sight in mid-December, but also about the determination and grit of a plant that will take any string of 60 degree days it's given. That gave me the first line, and in quick succession, the last. I don't think haiku are supposed to have a title, but the title of the post kind of works as one, so at first, I had the dandelion answering the question:
opportunistic
December dandelion:
"the season is Now."
Even without the title, those few bits of punctuation change the whole feel for me. Which do you like better -- the poet describing a scene, or a spunky dandelion squeaking out it's own little "Carpe Diem!"?
perfect opening line .... (eh, word)
ReplyDeleteKevin
I agree with Kevin about that opening. Perfect! Also, I like the process notes. I don't get to listen in on many poets, so it's a treat to eavesdrop on your inner conversation.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long line of warm-ish days around here, too! No chance for skiing or snowshoeing. Lots of mud, though.
My tanka-ish.
ReplyDeletewhen the phone rings
I pretend not to hear -
overhead
the Pleiades
whisper
A couple process notes. In Iowa these days we get many, MANY phone call polls to find out who we'll be voting for. The upper image came first, then the second as an antidote. Priorities, priorities. (Also, as kind of an introvert, the phone is not my favorite machine even in the best of times.)
I'm in love with the lines
Delete"the Pleiades
whisper"
I may have to borrow them for tomorrow. Such truth in being more distracted by a whisper overhead than a raucous jangle in the other room...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteLet me try again...Being from New Hampshire, I can sympathize with Steve! I no longer have a house phone, so I've been freed from those annoying political recordings and rigged surveys.
DeleteMy haiga from yesterday dealt with a similar topic. http://randomnoodling.blogspot.com/2015/12/happy-haiga-day_13.html
Getting into someone else's head is so exciting. Today, I am going to request an audience of listeners and doers to round off Autumn's Palette Gallery. Any late submissions for Autumn's Palette Gallery are being accepted by all but I thought it might be fun if our small group offered a haiku or tanka to celebrate the majesty of autumn. Please see http://beyondliteracylink.blogspot.com/2015/12/lingering-autumn.html.
ReplyDeleteMary Lee, the dandelion is adamantly shouting out her request to stand tall.
ReplyDeleteSteve, I love the backstory of your many phone calls. I am so distracted by the ringing of nonsense calls. Hanging up is my appropriate action.
"Confession"
ReplyDeleteI love my job but
when an inch of snow is promised
I pray for a snow day.
(C) Carol Wilcox, 2015
"Recipe at the End of a Hard Day"
sometimes when life is hard
i buy a box of macaroni and cheese
the cheap kind with
fluorescent orange cheese powder
I mix it with warm cinnamon applesauce
and I poke a noodle
onto each tine on my fork
and remember the good ol' days.
(C) Carol Wilcox, 2015
Carol,
DeleteI completely agree with the haiku above, both in the love for the job and the love for a change!
Wow! I love that image of "Recipe"! The specificity of the "fluorescent orange" the noodles poked "onto each tine of my fork", really give a loving tenderness to the piece. It has almost a ritualistic quality, sort of monumental! I have to study this to figure out how I can do that kind of thing. First thought, though, are about those details so clearly rendered...thanks!
I like the second version better, Mary Lee. It may be less "haiku-ish" (?) but the dandelion IS spunky, and for me, the punctuated version adds to the poem's (and flower's) character.
ReplyDeleteYour dandelion might like to hang out with two late blooming roses on my drive. They aren't very pretty, but I celebrate their grit! And I like the first version.
ReplyDelete